Lately. . .

I don't know much. I don't know where my life is leading. I am searching many things within my heart. I am questioning a lot. I am running to God but He is being silent with me. I still struggle with sins. I have messed up lately. I hate feeling lost when i'm saved by God's grace. I cannot seem to find myself. I know I am saved by God's grace and He is enough. I still have my doubts. I still look in the wrong places when I already have the answer. I still am a sinner.... i'm just forgiven by Jesus' blood Nothing can pluck me out of His hand Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

I am a conqueror. I am a fighter. I am strong. I am a child of the Almighty one.
I am held by God's hands. I am loved. I am sought after. I am pursued. I'm still here. I'm alive. I'm willing. I'm open. I'm honest. I'm a free bird. I am pursuing.

Can I be honest? I don't know how to live. I try. I laugh. I learn. I fall. I cry. I pray. I search. I keep going. and I trust God. It's hard. It seems it is getting harder. I hope that somehow...this helps because i'm somewhere out here waiting on the Lord. Here I am Lord.

I woke up today..

I woke up today not holding on to some things that I have been for a long time. I woke up today with a different feeling inside of me, and the wierd part is..lately I haven't been as close to God as I should be. I woke up today not wanting a sense of acceptance from people that I usually want it from, or not wanting the longing to be loved and cherished, but i woke up today with a sense that no matter what happens in my life... I have God.

I let go of a lot of things today...but i'm sure that tomorrow i'll wake up and those things i let go...will somehow find their way right back at my bedside waiting for me to wake up and start my day.



Everyday is a struggle for me...sometimes I want to give up, and sometimes I feel that no one is on my side. I know that no matter the circumstance, My Jesus is holding my hand.

It isn't a matter of if I wake up or not to a good day or a bad day, it is a matter of how I handle it and running to Jesus...

So when I lay down to sleep tonight, even though I let go of a few things that have been holding me down lately, i know i'll wake up to another day full of struggles, obstacles and hardships, but nothing's gonna keep me down forever.

Galatians 6:9