I'm off to Tennessee for awhile!
See ya soon.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Some things I love.
CUPCAKES and CUPCAKE STUFF.
concerts and meeting new people :)
good friends who are there for you.
coffee.
being weird.
friends. sunshine.
My brother. one of my best friends.
Roadtrips with good friends.
My favorite little boy. Gabe. ( or i call him BOWLS) ha He is so pleasant and fun. Definitely a gift from God.
all the glitters is not gold.
If there is one thing i want to be with you today... it is real.
Lately, I have been forgetting my purpose as to why I am alive and why I was created. I have been living for myself and essentially others (opinions) to find temporary happiness which wasn't real happiness to begin with. I know who my creator is and I know that my only purpose is to serve and know God.
I look around wherever I go, and i wonder what each person holds in their hearts; the deep secrets that nobody knows about them; the sadness or hurting they carry around; their desires and their bondages. I look at people everywhere i go whether they seem happy on the outside or sad on the outside, who is to know what really goes on in their hearts? only God.
I have known people in my lifetime for seasons and I thought I knew them, only to find later I had no idea who they were or what they kept deep inside of them. So the reason I am telling you this is because, I have struggled lately with feeling lost in my heart and life...because I don't measure up to the world's standards of being this or that or having the right job or at the right standard for this age, and i have been struggling with that because all this time i'm asking God what i'm supposed to do as well and I feel like He hasn't told me. I told you this because other people look great and have it together to me, but I don't know their hearts or their lives, and i'm comparing my life to someone else's path when God has his very own plan for me. deep down i know this.
oh my this life is so short. also, my ex from while ago got married this past saturday and for some reason i've been very sad about it. i guess he was my first real love and it feels funny to know he's married now even though i know deep down we weren't right for each other. it's funny how you feel those things. feelings are so unreliable. i guess i'm learning a lot about myself right now in life...its hard but its good i guess.
so i don't really have a conclusion to this entry this time because i haven't found a conclusion and even when i do have a conclusion sometimes i don't even apply it to my own life. so maybe i am better off not having a conclusion...maybe i'm better off just letting it be....
ok bye.
Lately, I have been forgetting my purpose as to why I am alive and why I was created. I have been living for myself and essentially others (opinions) to find temporary happiness which wasn't real happiness to begin with. I know who my creator is and I know that my only purpose is to serve and know God.
I look around wherever I go, and i wonder what each person holds in their hearts; the deep secrets that nobody knows about them; the sadness or hurting they carry around; their desires and their bondages. I look at people everywhere i go whether they seem happy on the outside or sad on the outside, who is to know what really goes on in their hearts? only God.
I have known people in my lifetime for seasons and I thought I knew them, only to find later I had no idea who they were or what they kept deep inside of them. So the reason I am telling you this is because, I have struggled lately with feeling lost in my heart and life...because I don't measure up to the world's standards of being this or that or having the right job or at the right standard for this age, and i have been struggling with that because all this time i'm asking God what i'm supposed to do as well and I feel like He hasn't told me. I told you this because other people look great and have it together to me, but I don't know their hearts or their lives, and i'm comparing my life to someone else's path when God has his very own plan for me. deep down i know this.
oh my this life is so short. also, my ex from while ago got married this past saturday and for some reason i've been very sad about it. i guess he was my first real love and it feels funny to know he's married now even though i know deep down we weren't right for each other. it's funny how you feel those things. feelings are so unreliable. i guess i'm learning a lot about myself right now in life...its hard but its good i guess.
so i don't really have a conclusion to this entry this time because i haven't found a conclusion and even when i do have a conclusion sometimes i don't even apply it to my own life. so maybe i am better off not having a conclusion...maybe i'm better off just letting it be....
ok bye.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
For some of us...our valleys have been dark this past year. I feel as if my valley has been dark but the good news is that it can change. With God all things are possible and the best part about it is He never ever leaves us.
I was listening to a sermon and it was talking about how sometimes we sit around and just wait for the Lord but we don't do our part. We just sit and wait and wait and wait and blame God for not working or coming through...but in almost every story in the Bible...followers of God had to make a first move...take a step of faith to show God that you TRULY trust him. If you need rain...and you are just sitting inside your home waiting on God to send some rain for a harvest in your life this year...He probably won't if you aren't digging some ditches. If you are wanting a job and you're sitting around at home waiting on some random phone call from an awesome job..it isn't going to happen! GO PUT ON SOME NICE CLOTHES AND GO OUT FOR AN INTERVIEW! DO your part....trust that God has great plans for your life. You may not get that job you want...but at least you're out there digging ditches waiting for God to send the rain at the PERFECT TIME.
If you're single and you're mad because you are wondering why God hasn't sent the right person in your life...quit trying to find the RIGHT person and YOU BE THE RIGHT PERSON and focus on CHRIST!!! If you're down and discouraged...look up and do WHAT YOU CAN...GOD WILL DO THE REST. He isn't a genie either....He just wants us to talk and trust him. He gives and takes away. He knows exactly what is best for us...but we HAVE TO DO OUR PART TOO. We do the natural...he will do the super.If you are at a point where you feel like you never hear God or feel him anymore..you might just need a stinkin nap!!! maybe you aren't eating right....TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! DO WHAT YOU CAN. I think we all need some encouragement.. and I just wanted to try and encourage anyone who reads this. SO go do the natural ( NAPS, EATING RIGHT, DIG SOME DITCHES, READ, PRAY, EXERCISE) and GOD will do the SUPER ( everything we cannot do.)The LORD says, "I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.- Joel 2:25
I was listening to a sermon and it was talking about how sometimes we sit around and just wait for the Lord but we don't do our part. We just sit and wait and wait and wait and blame God for not working or coming through...but in almost every story in the Bible...followers of God had to make a first move...take a step of faith to show God that you TRULY trust him. If you need rain...and you are just sitting inside your home waiting on God to send some rain for a harvest in your life this year...He probably won't if you aren't digging some ditches. If you are wanting a job and you're sitting around at home waiting on some random phone call from an awesome job..it isn't going to happen! GO PUT ON SOME NICE CLOTHES AND GO OUT FOR AN INTERVIEW! DO your part....trust that God has great plans for your life. You may not get that job you want...but at least you're out there digging ditches waiting for God to send the rain at the PERFECT TIME.
If you're single and you're mad because you are wondering why God hasn't sent the right person in your life...quit trying to find the RIGHT person and YOU BE THE RIGHT PERSON and focus on CHRIST!!! If you're down and discouraged...look up and do WHAT YOU CAN...GOD WILL DO THE REST. He isn't a genie either....He just wants us to talk and trust him. He gives and takes away. He knows exactly what is best for us...but we HAVE TO DO OUR PART TOO. We do the natural...he will do the super.If you are at a point where you feel like you never hear God or feel him anymore..you might just need a stinkin nap!!! maybe you aren't eating right....TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! DO WHAT YOU CAN. I think we all need some encouragement.. and I just wanted to try and encourage anyone who reads this. SO go do the natural ( NAPS, EATING RIGHT, DIG SOME DITCHES, READ, PRAY, EXERCISE) and GOD will do the SUPER ( everything we cannot do.)The LORD says, "I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.- Joel 2:25
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Fearless
"Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" - Matthew 8:26
"So do not be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows."- Matthew 10:31
Worry does not work. It does not gain and does not promote the Holy Spirit. Find a way to be courageous today with your faith. Everyday is a chance to deplete your faith or allow it to grow. It's your choice. Nobody can make you worry and nobody can take away your worries except Jesus.
"Do not be afraid. Just believe, and your daughter will be well."- Luke 8:50
Lately. . .
I don't know much. I don't know where my life is leading. I am searching many things within my heart. I am questioning a lot. I am running to God but He is being silent with me. I still struggle with sins. I have messed up lately. I hate feeling lost when i'm saved by God's grace. I cannot seem to find myself. I know I am saved by God's grace and He is enough. I still have my doubts. I still look in the wrong places when I already have the answer. I still am a sinner.... i'm just forgiven by Jesus' blood Nothing can pluck me out of His hand Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
I am a conqueror. I am a fighter. I am strong. I am a child of the Almighty one.
I am held by God's hands. I am loved. I am sought after. I am pursued. I'm still here. I'm alive. I'm willing. I'm open. I'm honest. I'm a free bird. I am pursuing.
Can I be honest? I don't know how to live. I try. I laugh. I learn. I fall. I cry. I pray. I search. I keep going. and I trust God. It's hard. It seems it is getting harder. I hope that somehow...this helps because i'm somewhere out here waiting on the Lord. Here I am Lord.
I am a conqueror. I am a fighter. I am strong. I am a child of the Almighty one.
I am held by God's hands. I am loved. I am sought after. I am pursued. I'm still here. I'm alive. I'm willing. I'm open. I'm honest. I'm a free bird. I am pursuing.
Can I be honest? I don't know how to live. I try. I laugh. I learn. I fall. I cry. I pray. I search. I keep going. and I trust God. It's hard. It seems it is getting harder. I hope that somehow...this helps because i'm somewhere out here waiting on the Lord. Here I am Lord.
Friday, March 18, 2011
There's something silly about the way people live; how they move and initiate the same conversations over and over each week. The way people talk and the way they show their feelings, if at all. There is something unique and ordinary meshed together oddly enough to describe the way people make it each day.
I can't put my finger on it...but as humans we want to live and when I say live I mean really LIVE. So when we aren't using our hearts and minds to the capacity they were created to beat and turn we evolve into a hollow box that was made to be filled and we begin to wander into a session of unfortunate activities and thoughts that never pertained to us to begin with.
none of this really makes sense, but it does. the world is flat. the world is round. bouncy balls don't bounce. words are just words... living isn't just living though.
i want to live. i want to live for Jesus. i'm struggling. flesh takes over spirit. so why do i reenact the same activities and words each day, and week? because we are creatures of habit which leads to your character which leads to either life or death.
i will be honest here on out.
I can't put my finger on it...but as humans we want to live and when I say live I mean really LIVE. So when we aren't using our hearts and minds to the capacity they were created to beat and turn we evolve into a hollow box that was made to be filled and we begin to wander into a session of unfortunate activities and thoughts that never pertained to us to begin with.
none of this really makes sense, but it does. the world is flat. the world is round. bouncy balls don't bounce. words are just words... living isn't just living though.
i want to live. i want to live for Jesus. i'm struggling. flesh takes over spirit. so why do i reenact the same activities and words each day, and week? because we are creatures of habit which leads to your character which leads to either life or death.
i will be honest here on out.
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