I used to write a lot...I haven't in the past year or two. I'm not sure why. I've lost a few passions of mine and gained a few...maybe i never lost them but they just faded into the background with all the distractions that were shoved in my path.
looking back on some things over the past couple years...it seems i haven't grown much but after going to a group meeting tonight and a friend michael spoke i realized i've grown a lot more than i thought even though it seemed as if i have gone the wrong ways. See I realized this life isn't a race... we all grow and mature and find out who we are in different phases and stages..God made each one of us specifically and intricately. He knows exactly how you tick, what makes you sad and what makes you happy, how you are wired and what makes you do the things you do. So as i look back on the past couple years of my life, i kept telling myself i haven't grown and everyone is moving forward but ME. i sank low many nights because i was comparing my life to other people and i wasn't doing the right things per se, but God spoke to me tonight and told me that i'm exactly where he wants me to be and every little thing i've done that has put me right where i am is exactly what he ALLOWED to happen to make me who i am today.
sounds so cliche at times, but until you have had an experience to look back on you can't say it means anything to you. I guess i've learned that the people in my life that have always loved me still do...they never stopped and their words stick with me throughout my whole life. the friends i have that i know that love me are always there and love me no matter what i do. i can say that i think i have the best family and they mean everything to me, their love is a love from God and i feel so overwhelmed and blessed to have them in my life. the words they've spoken to me since i was little from my mom, dad and brother have made me into the woman i am today. their love is unconditional and stable...never fading.
it's true...you can have all the things in the world but if you don't have love you don't have anything. so true. all i want is love...love from God for he is love,..love with my family and friends. I just want to form better relationships with the people i love. that's what i feel i'm being called to. it may not be a doctor, or a lawyer or something significant in the world, but to love and be loved is greater than anything to me.
anyways i just got hit a wave of REAL SLEEPY LIKENESS. lol